Comfy wellies and other things that make me happy

I have been thinking, after yesterday's all too brief elation, about all the other little things in my life that make me happy. Not the big important things that are there for the long run like my marriage, my kids, my family and my collection of Irregular Choice shoes, but the little objects or things about me that have the ability to lift my spirits when things seem a bit much.

Fairly close to the top of this list is the fact that I have both new insoles in and new socks for my wellies. This will probably come across as odd to most people but let me explain an important fact. I have 2 dogs. They require walking and at this time of year that usually means in mud and wellies are essential to this exercise. I love my wellies anyway, they are pink, Joules and slightly imperfect which just adds to their charm. Every time I take a step the broken buckle on the side of the right boot jangles slightly and adds a little panache to my walking (or so I like to think anyway!). However, they have been becoming increasingly uncomfortable to walk in for any distance since the onset of the snow. I should explain that one of my dogs is a collie at this juncture and she needs A LOT of exercise to stop her getting bored and generally make her the happy, slightly bonkers dog she is and we adore. I can tell you that the afore mentioned insoles and socks (also bright pink btw) have made them all comfy again!! I admit that at this time of year its rarely me doing the big, long dog walk as I don't like walking them in the dark at 6am round fields I can't see them properly in and through a decidedly dodgy underpass with really unimaginative graffiti that is the only route to said fields, that's my OH's job. But I still take them when I can and it's daylight. I'm really looking forward to our late spring through to early autumn walks when the 6am duty is mine again, more so now my wellies are comfy and have the ability to carry me to some clear headspace and not be absorbed by how many more times I can say ouch under my breathe in between steps.

Other things that are improving my smile factor are my heated rollers, a bright green jumper I bought for a barginous £2 and when my dishcloths are really absorbent at mopping up the leaky kitchen tap. I think I better stop listing these little things publicly now though, as I'm starting to realise just how sad a person I am and that was not my reason for starting this blog up again!!!

My house is clean!!! Like properly!!!!

This is a picture of my kitchen floor. It is actually, properly clean for the first time since I started my business. That's a bit embarrassing to admit as no one wants to admit how much they haven't got round to the housework but running the business, looking after the kids and having 2 dogs and 2 cats as well as a husband have meant that cleaning the kitchen floor has decidedly NOT been a priority.

But today something has happened that has, if not changed my life, but definitely saved my mental health. My cleaner started.

That is not an over dramitisation at all. I hate having a messy or dirty house but I have had to admit that I really can't do everything and not have some sort of breakdown in a big way. I know some women who manage this fine and that's brilliant for them. I am big enough to say that I really can't cope. And I have now done something about it after dreaming of it for 4 years.

Walking back into a perfectly clean, tidy house has just lifted my spirits after a somewhat shitty and confusing start to the New Year. I know the kids will trash it in about 10 minutes (if not less!) and that the dogs/cats/boots of the household will render it a memory by the end of tomorrow but do you know what? She's coming again next Saturday too, so it will be wonderful all over again.

I actually love Liz, I really do. And I told her that before she left. I am going to buy her all the nice cleaning products that she would like and her own special 'Houskeeper's Box' of the retro style to keep them all in. Ok that is just an excuse coz I've wanted one for ages. But still the thought is there :)

I will actually happily go without new shoes for the rest of this year so I can pay for her. And that is saying something!!!!

On course

Oops!!

Yep I've done it already and it's only the 3rd January!!! I've broken one of my resolutions already, although to be fair I had maybe set the bar quite high with this one!

I was going to not shout at the children so much. But then the fighting, whinging and hitting each other began and out of the window went the reasonable tone of voice etc. I'm not on top form either and with the lack of sleep and inability to pay the mortgage this month I let rip. I know I shouldn't have done but there is no point regretting what has already happened and can't be changed. I shall strive to do better as it really isn't their fault and I shouldn't let myself take it out on them - they are only little.

I must implement flow theory in all aspects of my life, work on that counting to 10 thing that I struggle with and then I and they will be much happier. I should also pay more attention rather than trying to do at least 3 things at once. All very easy to say but somewhat more difficult to actually do. Anyway, here's to having another go at that resolution :)

I think too much

Dark and drear have been the caves of winter
within my heart.
The now sparkling light on sparkling days
has blinded my dulled eyes
and sharpened my pains,
but thrown warmth into my dreams.

Spring is calling. But crisp winter still rules
beautiful in her frosted capes and
snowy fields,
and dark though they be,
they give me the solitude I crave.

2011 - You better be an improvement on 2010!

Last year had a couple of really high points, foremost of which was going fully self employed at the start of February, but mostly it was crap. And then it got really crap. I don't wish to dwell on the why's and wherefore's as I'm generally a positive, forward looking kinda' gal but seriously 2011, you better be worth all the hard slog of 2010.

I have cleaned and tidied my house and office, I have a cleaner starting very soon (business goal number 1 achieved and to hell with the mortgage!) and the dogs are mostly getting on. My youngest should magically stop having tantrums as soon as she turns 3 this year (I can but believe) and I will get a break with the nursery costs thereafter. The business is in shape to really push forward and I am sill married to the best person in the world to cope with me. I'm starting you off on the right foot you see.

So 2011, don't fuck up.